• involves effort and generosity
• listen to what appeals to your child(ren)
Avoid shutting them down
• value their ideas
• allow them to express negative feelings such as disappointments, embarrassments, sadness, anxiety, and anger.
Reflect back
• repeat back to your child what you think he or she is saying
• reflect back to your child some of his or her words, but not in parrot fashion, as that can be annoying
• concentrate on reflecting back the feelings you think your child is trying to express, e.g. it sounds like you feel upset or frustrated or sad?
• reflective listening will help your child(ren) to frame their own feelings
make sure the time is clear of any other commitments for every member of the family
prevent interruptions from the telephone or other people (unless they are invited with the understanding that it is family time
Suggested routine for family times
try to make it the same time each week
spend at least an hour and a half having fun
take turns choosing what activity you do (See worksheet)
have it coincide with a meal
get each family member in turn to choose their favorite menu -when they are old enough, use it as an opportunity to teach them to cook their choice of food
make sure conversation and activities are at the level of the children
if it is a week night, work out when to fit in homework, music practice, etc. (before or after depending on the age of the children)
turn off the TV, or limit it to one program or DVD that you can watch together
children learn about good and bad behavior from their family
they learn values such as:
thinking about others
taking responsibility
helping around the house
How can you plan a focused time of play with your child(ren) this week? Spend some time thinking about your moral compass – where does it point? Why?
