Parenting Children - September 18, 2012

Day 35 - Handling anger - Ours and theirs

Parenting Children Ages 0-10

Unhelpful reactions to anger

• some people react like a rhino - when angry, they go on the attack and express their feelings aggressively
• some people react like a hedgehog - when angry, they protect themselves and bury their feelings
• learning to control our anger
• Recognize the root of our anger
• HALT - ask: Am I Hungry, Anxious, Lonely or Tired?
• displaced anger: buried anger caused by someone in the past can come out in the present against someone else
• deal with unresolved hurt from the past through forgiveness

2. Take time out to calm down

• press the pause button • avoid jumping to conclusions

3. Label the action not the child's character
• avoid phrases like "You're so careless” or "You're so unkind”
• children can believe labels
• labeling the action helps them to change, e.g.; That was a careless thing to do" or "That was an unkind remark to make”

4. Use "I" statements to express own feelings

• helps us to avoid labeling other people
• easier for them to respond constructively
• and make changes in their behavior

Question:
Do you tend to react more like a rhino or a hedgehog? What helps you express your anger effectively? How do your children tend to react? What helps them?

From Series: "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

Study Guide

More From "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

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Slide12In our last session we saw how the director of the six act play stepped on to the stage, as Jesus.  Today we conclude an overview of the Christian story in six acts with Acts 5 & 6, which are about us, and the end of the story.We’ll skip an act, and go right to Act 6 to see how it ends.  We know the ending, God has already said how it will be.

Maybe you’ve heard about revelation, apocalypse, or the rapture before, and immediately think of awful things when you hear about “the end of the world”.

Act 6 is written in very poetic language in the Bible, so lots of people have come up with theories about how and when it will happen.

But no matter how one reads it, the point is always that good wins, and evil loses.  God wins, and evil loses.

God created the world and created us humans to know him intimately and personally.   We are meant to be something other than what we are today….and he has plans to restore us into that right relationship with him.

But this restoration is not limited to just us humans…all of creation was made for something better, and he has plans to restore the natural world and order as well…no sickness, death, war, famine, etc.  Nothing that rebels against God’s good nature.

The world as God intended it!

But we are not there yet.  Creation is not yet perfected, neither are we!  There’s a missing act.

Slide13Imagine this actually happened…an unknown Shakespearean play is discovered.  We found Acts 1-4 and Act 6, but Act 5 is missing.

One person has proposed collecting a bunch of Shakespearean actors, have them study script, Acts 1-4 and 6, and then put them on stage and invite them to act out the first four acts, then improvise Act 5 in a way that honours the past, and connects with the known ending.

That’s what God has done with us…

We know how this story starts and ends.

Now we are in Act 5 – invited to join God as part of His story.  We are invited to study his past and future actions, and then improvise with him, as we move toward the proper ending, called the kingdom of God…that looks suspiciously like Act 1 as well.

God wants us to be part of his plan for the world.

And it’s finally possible, because Jesus has set the play back on track.

There is the story, in six acts.

We took our time, but it needn’t be that complicated.  The story of the universe can be summed up in one paragraph:

  • God created the world to know God personally
  • we said no thanks,
  • and God has been trying to reconnect with us ever since.
  • When we weren’t able, he came to us,
  • and has left us here to improvise in a way that will
  • give this story the good ending he has planned.

Slide14

Which parts of the Christian story give you hope?  Which parts do you want to know more about?