Parenting Teens - September 2, 2012

Day 17 - Effective Communications

Parenting teenagers involves gradually letting out the boundaries and giving increased freedom and responsibility. We compare different parenting styles (neglectful, authoritarian, indulgent and authoritative) and show how a combination of warmth and firmness (authoritative parenting) is the most beneficial to a teenager’s healthy development.

Adapting our approach
• Communication not always easy through the teenage years • learning curve for most parents • adults and teenagers tend to communicate in different ways See attached file for some differences! • if we allow them to tell us what they find difficult about how we communicate with them, they are more likely to listen to us when we need to tell them what we find difficult about how they communicate with us • understand that sometimes teenagers like to be contrary. (If we get heavy and intense they will probably react strongly just to give us a hard time) • give them space. Respect their privacy. • don't try to control every aspect of their lives. • don't expect them to tell you everything

How easy or difficult is it for you to communicate with your teenager(s) currently?

See the attached worksheets in the study guide

From Series: "Parenting Teenagers"

Study Guide

More From "Parenting Teenagers"

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Teenagers needs the confidence that comes from knowing they are loved.  Their behaviour often acts like a gauge showing how full of love their internal “emotional tank” is.  Today, we introduce the concept of the five love languages as a way of expressing love to our teenagers in order for them to feel loved.

  • Our teenagers’ greatest need is to feel loved and accepted during this enormous transition in their lives a time of:
    • self- discovery
    • pushing for independence
    • much self-questioning
    • peer pressure
    • they can experience a lot of self-doubt and feel awkward and unlovable
    • confidence rests on:
      • security (knowing they are loved)
      • self-worth (knowing they are of value)
      • significance (knowing there is a purpose to their lives)
      • seek to keep their emotional tank” full of LOVE:
        • their behavior acts like the gauge to show how full of love they feel
        • knowing that they are loved and accepted enables them in the long-term:
          • to resist peer pressure when they need to
          • to make good choices
          • to build close relationships

Discovering how our teenagers feel loved

  • discover the primary way each teenager feels loved, whether it’s through:
    • time
    • words
    • touch
    • presents
    • actions
    • (see Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers)
    • importance of a particular love language may have changed as a child has grown older

Question: Which of the five way of expressing love was most important for you during your upbringing?


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