Parenting Children - September 20, 2012

Day 37 - Helping our children manage their anger - Older children Ages 5-10

• read each child’s way of showing anger
• aim to teach them "expression," rather than aggression or "suppression"
• help them to express anger appropriately (verbally and pleasantly)
• correct rudeness, destructive behavior, swearing, hitting others, etc. - without shutting them down
• allow them to express negative feelings: hurt, sadness, anger, etc.
• not allowing expression or discussion can lead to passive aggressive behavior, i.e; using negative behavior to get back at parents, such as being uncommunicative, refusing to co-operate, or being deliberately annoying
• we need to recognize if we are contributing to the problem and our child’s anger
• don't punish for being immature in expressing negative feelings

Question:
For you, what will be hardest about reacting to anger in this way? Why?

From Series: Parenting Children Ages 0-10 | More Messages from Parenting Children | Download Audio

From Series: "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

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Parenting teenagers involves gradually letting out the boundaries and giving increased freedom and responsibility.  We compare different parenting styles (neglectful, authoritarian, indulgent and authoritative) and show how a combination of warmth and firmness (authoritative parenting) is the most beneficial to a teenager’s healthy development.Adapting our approach

  • Communication not always easy through the teenage years
  • learning curve for most parents
  • adults and teenagers tend to communicate in different ways

See attached worksheet for some differences!

  • if we allow them to tell us what they find difficult about how we communicate with them, they are more likely to listen to us when we need to tell them what we find difficult about how they communicate with us
  • understand that sometimes teenagers like to be contrary. (If we get heavy and intense they will probably react strongly just to give us a hard time)
  • give them space. Respect their privacy.
  • don’t try to control every aspect of their lives.
  • don’t expect them to tell you everything

How easy or difficult is it for you to communicate with your teenager(s) currently?