Teenagers needs the confidence that comes from knowing they are loved. Their behaviour often acts like a gauge showing how full of love their internal “emotional tank” is. Today, we introduce the concept of the five love languages as a way of expressing love to our teenagers in order for them to feel loved.
Our teenagers’ greatest need is to feel loved and accepted during this enormous transition in their lives a time of:
• self- discovery
• pushing for independence
• much self-questioning
• peer pressure
they can experience a lot of self-doubt and feel awkward and unlovable
• confidence rests on:
• security (knowing they are loved)
• self-worth (knowing they are of value)
• significance (knowing there is a purpose to their lives)
• seek to keep their emotional tank" full of lOVE:
• their behavior acts like the gauge to show how full of love they feel
Knowing that they are loved and accepted enables them in the long-term:
• to resist peer pressure when they need to
• to make good choices
• to build close relationships
Discovering how our teenagers feel loved
discover the primary way each teenager feels loved, whether it's through:
• time
• words
• touch
• presents
• actions
(see Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers)
• importance of a particular love language may have changed as a child has grown older
Question: Which of the five ways of expressing love was most important for you during your upbringing?
We look at the role of listening and attention-giving in effective communications.2. Learn to listen
treat them like young adults (not children)
Listen carefully to their views and feelings
Effective communication requires that parents
learn to speak with their teenager rather than at their teenager (Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers)
engage in discussion and be prepared to debate the issues rather than repeating Simplistic slogans such as “You’re too young to have a boyfriend” or “drugs are dangerous”
3. Give your full attention
recognize the important moments to listen and give your full attention
don’t try to listen to your teenager while doing something else at the same time
maintain eye contact; observe your teenager’s body language
When have you had your best conversations with your teenager?
