We look at the role of reflecting back, responding appropriately and taking a long-term view in healthy communications.
7. Reflect back what they have said
• say back to them what you think they are trying to express, particularly their feelings use some of their own words and phrases
8. Respond appropriately
• give guidance and reassurance
• they are likely to remember our words for years to come
9. Take a long-term view
• sometimes any meaningful communicationwith teenagers can be a big struggle
• difficulties are usually the result of a phase they're going through
• try to create the conditions for conversation to become easier, at mealtimes; spending time with them doing what they enjoy; using their love language
• if worried, seek professional help and/or medical support
Question: Role play with another adult. Have them share a typical teenage problem with you, and reflect back what they’ve said. Go back and forth for a few minutes, then switch. What was easy or hard about this?
We look at the role of listening and attention-giving in effective communications.2. Learn to listen
treat them like young adults (not children)
Listen carefully to their views and feelings
Effective communication requires that parents
learn to speak with their teenager rather than at their teenager (Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers)
engage in discussion and be prepared to debate the issues rather than repeating Simplistic slogans such as “You’re too young to have a boyfriend” or “drugs are dangerous”
3. Give your full attention
recognize the important moments to listen and give your full attention
don’t try to listen to your teenager while doing something else at the same time
maintain eye contact; observe your teenager’s body language
When have you had your best conversations with your teenager?
