Marriage Course - August 29, 2012

Day 12 - Hindrances to Listening - Filters

• we all listen through filters but often we are unaware of them
• when someone is speaking, our own memories, attitudes, prejudices, physical environment, lack of interest, etc. all affect what we hear
• some of the time we are listening more to ourselves than to the other person
• effective communication requires us to control the conversation in our mind

Question:Complete the worksheet under "Extras -> Study Guide"

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We look at the role of listening and attention-giving in effective communications.2. Learn to listen

  • treat them like young adults (not children)
  • Listen carefully to their views and feelings
  • Effective communication requires that parents
    • learn to speak with their teenager rather than at their teenager (Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers)
    • engage in discussion and be prepared to debate the issues rather than repeating Simplistic slogans such as “You’re too young to have a boyfriend” or “drugs are dangerous”

3. Give your full attention

  • recognize the important moments to listen and give your full attention
  • don’t try to listen to your teenager while doing something else at the same time

maintain eye contact; observe your teenager’s body language

When have you had your best conversations with your teenager?