Parenting Teens - August 29, 2012

Day 13 - Love Language - Affirming Words

Speaking affirming words is one of the five love languages.

• the words we speak to our teenagers can stay with them for the rest of their lives • tell them of your love and pride in them affirm them (not just when they please you; not just for their achievements) • affirm their looks • aim at five positive comments for every one negative comment • find things for which to praise them • loving words build confidence and affect their attitudes • loving words can be spoken and written

Question:
Which of the five expressions of love do you find hardest to show to your children?

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4. Be one step ahead

  • use distraction, distract your child from the issue causing conflict
  • develop your own tarntlu rules to avoid regular arguments

5. Give choices

  • being given choices is an important part of a child’s learning to take responsibility
  • give choices over issues that are unimportant,
  • Which of your toys do you want to take?” and “Do you want to play on the beach or go swimming?”
  • giving choices helps to defuse conflict

6. Stay in control

  • avoid being dragged into shouting matches our emotional reactions can give children a sense of power over us – like allowing them to press a “big red button” on our chests to see us react. getting angry, chasing them, getting upset
  • find a way to give realistic warnings

don’t be manipulated by your child(ren)’s shouting, whining, or tantrums

How can you stay in control of yourself when faced with bad behaviour?

 

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