Parenting Children - September 6, 2012

Day 23 - Setting Boundaries Part I

Right and Wrong Choices

• teach the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behavior
• explain the consequences - pleasant for good behavior and unpleasant for crossing the boundary
• tell them that the choice is theirs
• teaches them to take responsibility for their own actions
• reward “right choices” with descriptive praise
• use a "star chart” or the equivalent for persistent issues
• have negative consequences for "wrong choices.”

Question:
What can help you reinforce “right choices”? What consequences can you put in place for “wrong choices”?

Related Topics: Boundaries, Children, Family | More Messages from Parenting Children | Download Audio

From Series: "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

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4. Be one step ahead

  • use distraction, distract your child from the issue causing conflict
  • develop your own tarntlu rules to avoid regular arguments

5. Give choices

  • being given choices is an important part of a child’s learning to take responsibility
  • give choices over issues that are unimportant,
  • Which of your toys do you want to take?” and “Do you want to play on the beach or go swimming?”
  • giving choices helps to defuse conflict

6. Stay in control

  • avoid being dragged into shouting matches our emotional reactions can give children a sense of power over us – like allowing them to press a “big red button” on our chests to see us react. getting angry, chasing them, getting upset
  • find a way to give realistic warnings

don’t be manipulated by your child(ren)’s shouting, whining, or tantrums

How can you stay in control of yourself when faced with bad behaviour?

 

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