Training our children for healthy independence
• we don't own our children
• we are helping our children move from parental control to self-control
• letting them go can be hard for parents
• a gradual process over eighteen years
• allow them to make their own decisions and learn from their own mistakes
• unhealthy control can be caused by wanting to look good, fear of failure, stress, or perfectionism
Question: How can you allow your children to learn from their mistakes while still protecting them sufficiently?
use distraction, distract your child from the issue causing conflict
develop your own tarntlu rules to avoid regular arguments
5. Give choices
being given choices is an important part of a child’s learning to take responsibility
give choices over issues that are unimportant,
Which of your toys do you want to take?” and “Do you want to play on the beach or go swimming?”
giving choices helps to defuse conflict
6. Stay in control
avoid being dragged into shouting matches our emotional reactions can give children a sense of power over us – like allowing them to press a “big red button” on our chests to see us react. getting angry, chasing them, getting upset
find a way to give realistic warnings
don’t be manipulated by your child(ren)’s shouting, whining, or tantrums
How can you stay in control of yourself when faced with bad behaviour?
