Marriage Course - August 20, 2012

Day 4 - The Third and Fourth Seasons of Marriage - Autumn and Winter

Marriage

Autumn
• season of richness and maturity-reaping
• the benefits of what has gone before
• marriage more established having weathered tough times
• may be teenagers in the house
• emotionally the most exhausting stage of parenting
• the greatest need is to support and encourage each other

Winter
• empty-nest stage for many
• probably fewer demands with an opportunity for more time together
• can be the most exciting stage of marriage
• the greatest needs are shared interests and good communication

Question:Reflect on what you've heard so far. If you are in one of these seasons, talk together about the pressures you've worked through until now in your relationship, and the pressures you're currently facing. If you’re not here yet, what do you think it will be like?

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4. Be one step ahead

  • use distraction, distract your child from the issue causing conflict
  • develop your own tarntlu rules to avoid regular arguments

5. Give choices

  • being given choices is an important part of a child’s learning to take responsibility
  • give choices over issues that are unimportant,
  • Which of your toys do you want to take?” and “Do you want to play on the beach or go swimming?”
  • giving choices helps to defuse conflict

6. Stay in control

  • avoid being dragged into shouting matches our emotional reactions can give children a sense of power over us – like allowing them to press a “big red button” on our chests to see us react. getting angry, chasing them, getting upset
  • find a way to give realistic warnings

don’t be manipulated by your child(ren)’s shouting, whining, or tantrums

How can you stay in control of yourself when faced with bad behaviour?

 

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