Parenting Teens - September 6, 2012

Day 21 - Effective Communications Strategies Part III

Parenting Teenagers

We look at the role of reflecting back, responding appropriately and taking a long-term view in healthy communications.

7. Reflect back what they have said • say back to them what you think they are trying to express, particularly their feelings use some of their own words and phrases

8. Respond appropriately • give guidance and reassurance • they are likely to remember our words for years to come

9. Take a long-term view • sometimes any meaningful communicationwith teenagers can be a big struggle • difficulties are usually the result of a phase they're going through • try to create the conditions for conversation to become easier, at mealtimes; spending time with them doing what they enjoy; using their love language • if worried, seek professional help and/or medical support

Question:
Role play with another adult. Have them share a typical teenage problem with you, and reflect back what they’ve said. Go back and forth for a few minutes, then switch. What was easy or hard about this?

From Series: "Parenting Teenagers"

Study Guide

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4. Be one step ahead

  • use distraction, distract your child from the issue causing conflict
  • develop your own tarntlu rules to avoid regular arguments

5. Give choices

  • being given choices is an important part of a child’s learning to take responsibility
  • give choices over issues that are unimportant,
  • Which of your toys do you want to take?” and “Do you want to play on the beach or go swimming?”
  • giving choices helps to defuse conflict

6. Stay in control

  • avoid being dragged into shouting matches our emotional reactions can give children a sense of power over us – like allowing them to press a “big red button” on our chests to see us react. getting angry, chasing them, getting upset
  • find a way to give realistic warnings

don’t be manipulated by your child(ren)’s shouting, whining, or tantrums

How can you stay in control of yourself when faced with bad behaviour?

 

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