Parenting Teens - September 4, 2012

Day 19 - Effective Communications Strategies Part I

We look at the role of listening and attention-giving in effective communications.

2. Learn to listen
• treat them like young adults (not children) • Listen carefully to their views and feelings

Effective communication requires that parents o learn to speak with their teenager rather than at their teenager (Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers) o engage in discussion and be prepared to debate the issues rather than repeating Simplistic slogans such as “You're too young to have a boyfriend” or “drugs are dangerous”

3. Give your full attention • recognize the important moments to listen and give your full attention • don't try to listen to your teenager while doing something else at the same time • maintain eye contact; observe your teenager’s body language

Question:
When have you had your best conversations with your teenager?

From Series: Parenting Teenagers | More Messages from Parenting Teens | Download Audio

From Series: "Parenting Teenagers"

Study Guide

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Show an interest

  • involves effort and generosity
  • listen to what appeals to your child(ren)

Avoid shutting them down

  • value their ideas
  • allow them to express negative feelings such as disappointments, embarrassments, sadness, anxiety, and anger.

Reflect back

  • repeat back to your child what you think he or she is saying
  • reflect back to your child some of his or her words, but not in parrot fashion, as that can be annoying
  • concentrate on reflecting back the feelings you think your child is trying to express, e.g. it sounds like you feel upset or frustrated or sad?
  • reflective listening will help your child(ren) to frame their own feelings

Complete the attached worksheet.

 

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