• value of laughter
• plan special family times
• make sure the time is clear of any other commitments for every member of the family
• prevent interruptions from the telephone or other people (unless they are invited with the understanding that it is family time
Suggested routine for family times
• try to make it the same time each week
• spend at least an hour and a half having fun
• take turns choosing what activity you do (See worksheet)
• have it coincide with a meal
• get each family member in turn to choose their favorite menu • when they are old enough, use it as an opportunity to teach them to cook their choice of food
• make sure conversation and activities are at the level of the children
• if it is a week night, work out when to fit in homework, music practice, etc. (before or after depending on the age of the children)
• turn off the TV, or limit it to one program or DVD that you can watch together
• children learn about good and bad behavior from their family
they learn values such as:
• thinking about others
• taking responsibility
• helping around the house
Question: How can you plan a focused time of play with your child(ren) this week? Spend some time thinking about your moral compass – where does it point? Why?
some people react like a rhino – when angry, they go on the attack and express their feelings aggressively
some people react like a hedgehog – when angry, they protect themselves and bury their feelings
learning to control our anger
1. Recognize the root of our anger
HALT – ask: Am I Hungry, Anxious, Lonely or Tired?
displaced anger: buried anger caused by someone in the past can come out in the present against someone else
deal with unresolved hurt from the past through forgiveness
2. Take time out to calm down
press the pause button
avoid jumping to conclusions
3. Label the action not the child’s character
avoid phrases like “You’re so careless” or “You’re so unkind”
children can believe labels
labeling the action helps them to change, e.g.; That was a careless thing to do” or “That was an unkind remark to make”
4. Use “I” statements to express own feelings
helps us to avoid labeling other people
easier for them to respond constructively
and make changes in their behavior
Do you tend to react more like a rhino or a hedgehog? What helps you express your anger effectively? How do your children tend to react? What helps them?
