• having a vision for our familu life
• pausing to think about what we want to achieve
• what will our children’s memories be of us and their home in twenty years, time?
Goals for our family life - When they are adults, will our children associate their upbringing with:
• having fun together as a family?
• being listened to?
• being able to talk through difficult choices?
• being encouraged and affirmed?
• being valued for their unique personality and gifts?
• knowing they are loved?
• learning important values of honesty, generosity, etc.?
• learning to think about others?
• being prayed for?
• having clear boundaries for their own protection?
• seeing kindness modeled?
The importance of play
• using their imagination
• learning skills
• playing on their own
• playing with others
• indoor and outdoor play
• limiting screen time
Question: Did you have fun with your family growing up? When do you have the most fun together as a family now?
some people react like a rhino – when angry, they go on the attack and express their feelings aggressively
some people react like a hedgehog – when angry, they protect themselves and bury their feelings
learning to control our anger
1. Recognize the root of our anger
HALT – ask: Am I Hungry, Anxious, Lonely or Tired?
displaced anger: buried anger caused by someone in the past can come out in the present against someone else
deal with unresolved hurt from the past through forgiveness
2. Take time out to calm down
press the pause button
avoid jumping to conclusions
3. Label the action not the child’s character
avoid phrases like “You’re so careless” or “You’re so unkind”
children can believe labels
labeling the action helps them to change, e.g.; That was a careless thing to do” or “That was an unkind remark to make”
4. Use “I” statements to express own feelings
helps us to avoid labeling other people
easier for them to respond constructively
and make changes in their behavior
Do you tend to react more like a rhino or a hedgehog? What helps you express your anger effectively? How do your children tend to react? What helps them?
