• for children, love is spelled T.I.M.E.
• children need quantity time as well as quality time
• significance of first eighteen months of a child's life
• who will be our child's main caregiver?
It can be hard to work out balance of parenting and employment
• working at home/from home
• full-time/part-time
• the time we spend with our children is more powerful in communicating our love than anything we say
We need to prioritize our time
• learning when to said "yes" to our children and "no" to other people and things
• the only place we are indispensable is at home
• we need to plan our time
• time with the people who are most precious to us doesn't just happen
• if married, plan marriage time" each week
• as a parent, plan "family time" each week
• plan some one-to-one time with each child (we will look at this in detail later in the course)
We need to protect our time from:
• the TV
• the telephone
• other people
• our work
Question: What demands on your time stop you from spending time with your children?
some people react like a rhino – when angry, they go on the attack and express their feelings aggressively
some people react like a hedgehog – when angry, they protect themselves and bury their feelings
learning to control our anger
1. Recognize the root of our anger
HALT – ask: Am I Hungry, Anxious, Lonely or Tired?
displaced anger: buried anger caused by someone in the past can come out in the present against someone else
deal with unresolved hurt from the past through forgiveness
2. Take time out to calm down
press the pause button
avoid jumping to conclusions
3. Label the action not the child’s character
avoid phrases like “You’re so careless” or “You’re so unkind”
children can believe labels
labeling the action helps them to change, e.g.; That was a careless thing to do” or “That was an unkind remark to make”
4. Use “I” statements to express own feelings
helps us to avoid labeling other people
easier for them to respond constructively
and make changes in their behavior
Do you tend to react more like a rhino or a hedgehog? What helps you express your anger effectively? How do your children tend to react? What helps them?
