Parenting Teens - September 6, 2012

Day 21 - Effective Communications Strategies Part III

We look at the role of reflecting back, responding appropriately and taking a long-term view in healthy communications.

7. Reflect back what they have said • say back to them what you think they are trying to express, particularly their feelings use some of their own words and phrases

8. Respond appropriately • give guidance and reassurance • they are likely to remember our words for years to come

9. Take a long-term view • sometimes any meaningful communicationwith teenagers can be a big struggle • difficulties are usually the result of a phase they're going through • try to create the conditions for conversation to become easier, at mealtimes; spending time with them doing what they enjoy; using their love language • if worried, seek professional help and/or medical support

Question:
Role play with another adult. Have them share a typical teenage problem with you, and reflect back what they’ve said. Go back and forth for a few minutes, then switch. What was easy or hard about this?

From Series: "Parenting Teenagers"

Study Guide

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  • read each child’s way of showing anger
  • aim to teach them “expression,” rather than aggression or “suppression”
  • help them to express anger appropriately (verbally and pleasantly)
  • correct rudeness, destructive behavior, swearing, hitting others, etc. – without shutting
  • them down
  • allow them to express negative feelings: hurt, sadness, anger, etc.
  • not allowing expression or discussion can lead to passive aggressive behavior, i.e; using negative behavior to get back at parents, such as being uncommunicative, refusing to co-operate, or being deliberately annoying
  • we need to recognize if we are contributing to the problem and our child’s anger

don’t punish for being immature in expressing negative feelings

For you, what will be hardest about reacting to anger in this way?  Why?

 

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