Marriage Course - September 14, 2012

Day 28 - Understanding Anger

Marriage

Reactions to hurt

1. Anger
• some are like rhinos-they attack when provoked
• some are like hedgehogs-they withdraw when threatened

2. Retaliation
• to let our partner know what the hurt felt like

3. Fear
• we withdraw so as not to be hurt again

4. Guilt
• hurt will always be caused by both partners

Question:Identify whether you are a rhino or hedgehog. If you're not sure, ask your partner.

From Series: "Marriage"

Study Guide

More Messages Associated With "Anger"...

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  • read each child’s way of showing anger
  • aim to teach them “expression,” rather than aggression or “suppression”
  • help them to express anger appropriately (verbally and pleasantly)
  • correct rudeness, destructive behavior, swearing, hitting others, etc. – without shutting
  • them down
  • allow them to express negative feelings: hurt, sadness, anger, etc.
  • not allowing expression or discussion can lead to passive aggressive behavior, i.e; using negative behavior to get back at parents, such as being uncommunicative, refusing to co-operate, or being deliberately annoying
  • we need to recognize if we are contributing to the problem and our child’s anger

don’t punish for being immature in expressing negative feelings

For you, what will be hardest about reacting to anger in this way?  Why?

 

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