Parenting Children - September 9, 2012

Day 26 - Helping Children Make Good Choices Part II

4. Be one step ahead

• use distraction, distract your child from the issue causing conflict
• develop your own tarntlu rules to avoid regular arguments

5. Give choices

• being given choices is an important part of a child’s learning to take responsibility
• give choices over issues that are unimportant,
• Which of your toys do you want to take?" and “Do you want to play on the beach or go swimming?"
• giving choices helps to defuse conflict

6. Stay in control

• avoid being dragged into shouting matches our emotional reactions can give children a sense of power over us - like allowing them to press a "big red button" on our chests to see us react. getting angry, chasing them, getting upset
• find a way to give realistic warnings
• don't be manipulated by your child(ren)'s shouting, whining, or tantrums

Question:
How can you stay in control of yourself when faced with bad behaviour?

From Series: Parenting Children Ages 0-10 | More Messages from Parenting Children | Download Audio

From Series: "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

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Parenting teenagers involves gradually letting out the boundaries and giving increased freedom and responsibility.  We compare different parenting styles (neglectful, authoritarian, indulgent and authoritative) and show how a combination of warmth and firmness (authoritative parenting) is the most beneficial to a teenager’s healthy development.Adapting our approach

  • Communication not always easy through the teenage years
  • learning curve for most parents
  • adults and teenagers tend to communicate in different ways

See attached worksheet for some differences!

  • if we allow them to tell us what they find difficult about how we communicate with them, they are more likely to listen to us when we need to tell them what we find difficult about how they communicate with us
  • understand that sometimes teenagers like to be contrary. (If we get heavy and intense they will probably react strongly just to give us a hard time)
  • give them space. Respect their privacy.
  • don’t try to control every aspect of their lives.
  • don’t expect them to tell you everything

How easy or difficult is it for you to communicate with your teenager(s) currently?