Parenting Children - September 14, 2012

Day 31 - The Power of Listening - Part II

Show an interest

• involves effort and generosity
• listen to what appeals to your child(ren)

Avoid shutting them down

• value their ideas
• allow them to express negative feelings such as disappointments, embarrassments, sadness, anxiety, and anger.

Reflect back

• repeat back to your child what you think he or she is saying
• reflect back to your child some of his or her words, but not in parrot fashion, as that can be annoying
• concentrate on reflecting back the feelings you think your child is trying to express, e.g. it sounds like you feel upset or frustrated or sad?
• reflective listening will help your child(ren) to frame their own feelings

Question:
Complete the attached worksheet.

From Series: Parenting Children Ages 0-10 | More Messages from Parenting Children | Download Audio

From Series: "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

Study Guide

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We look at the role of listening and attention-giving in effective communications.2. Learn to listen

  • treat them like young adults (not children)
  • Listen carefully to their views and feelings
  • Effective communication requires that parents
    • learn to speak with their teenager rather than at their teenager (Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers)
    • engage in discussion and be prepared to debate the issues rather than repeating Simplistic slogans such as “You’re too young to have a boyfriend” or “drugs are dangerous”

3. Give your full attention

  • recognize the important moments to listen and give your full attention
  • don’t try to listen to your teenager while doing something else at the same time

maintain eye contact; observe your teenager’s body language

When have you had your best conversations with your teenager?