Marriage Course - August 26, 2012

Day 10 - Effective Communication

Marriage

• communication involves the message, the speaker, and the listener
• building intimacy in marriage involves hearing each otheros experiences, thoughts, feelings, and desires

The importance of talking
• telling each other our thoughts and feelings
• may have been taught to hide feelings during upbringing
• will take courage and practice to re-Iearn how to talk about feelings
• some have difficultu recognizing what they are feeling (if this describes you, please see the optional homework exercise: Identifying Emotions)

Question:Complete the worksheet under "Extras -> Study Guide"

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We look at the role of listening and attention-giving in effective communications.2. Learn to listen

  • treat them like young adults (not children)
  • Listen carefully to their views and feelings
  • Effective communication requires that parents
    • learn to speak with their teenager rather than at their teenager (Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers)
    • engage in discussion and be prepared to debate the issues rather than repeating Simplistic slogans such as “You’re too young to have a boyfriend” or “drugs are dangerous”

3. Give your full attention

  • recognize the important moments to listen and give your full attention
  • don’t try to listen to your teenager while doing something else at the same time

maintain eye contact; observe your teenager’s body language

When have you had your best conversations with your teenager?