Parenting Children - September 14, 2012

Day 31 - The Power of Listening - Part II

Show an interest

• involves effort and generosity
• listen to what appeals to your child(ren)

Avoid shutting them down

• value their ideas
• allow them to express negative feelings such as disappointments, embarrassments, sadness, anxiety, and anger.

Reflect back

• repeat back to your child what you think he or she is saying
• reflect back to your child some of his or her words, but not in parrot fashion, as that can be annoying
• concentrate on reflecting back the feelings you think your child is trying to express, e.g. it sounds like you feel upset or frustrated or sad?
• reflective listening will help your child(ren) to frame their own feelings

Question:
Complete the attached worksheet.

From Series: Parenting Children Ages 0-10 | More Messages from Parenting Children | Download Audio

From Series: "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

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We look at the role of Paying Attention to Their World, Listening for Feelings & Avoiding Interruptions in effective communications.4. Show an interest in the world of your teenageres)

  • ask questions about their interests and listen to their answers
  • treat them as unique individuals with their own points of view and personal tastes

5. Listen for feelings

  • allow them to express negative emotions
  • don’t rush in with solutions right away

6. Try to avoid interrupting

  • the average person listens for only seventeen seconds

resist the desire to be defensive or to butt in and correct

What affirming words can you share with your teenager this week?  What one-to-one time can you plan?