Parenting Children - September 9, 2012

Day 26 - Helping Children Make Good Choices Part II

4. Be one step ahead

• use distraction, distract your child from the issue causing conflict
• develop your own tarntlu rules to avoid regular arguments

5. Give choices

• being given choices is an important part of a child’s learning to take responsibility
• give choices over issues that are unimportant,
• Which of your toys do you want to take?" and “Do you want to play on the beach or go swimming?"
• giving choices helps to defuse conflict

6. Stay in control

• avoid being dragged into shouting matches our emotional reactions can give children a sense of power over us - like allowing them to press a "big red button" on our chests to see us react. getting angry, chasing them, getting upset
• find a way to give realistic warnings
• don't be manipulated by your child(ren)'s shouting, whining, or tantrums

Question:
How can you stay in control of yourself when faced with bad behaviour?

Related Topics: Boundaries, Children, Family, Values | More Messages from Parenting Children | Download Audio

From Series: "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

Study Guide

More From "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

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Show an interest

  • involves effort and generosity
  • listen to what appeals to your child(ren)

Avoid shutting them down

  • value their ideas
  • allow them to express negative feelings such as disappointments, embarrassments, sadness, anxiety, and anger.

Reflect back

  • repeat back to your child what you think he or she is saying
  • reflect back to your child some of his or her words, but not in parrot fashion, as that can be annoying
  • concentrate on reflecting back the feelings you think your child is trying to express, e.g. it sounds like you feel upset or frustrated or sad?
  • reflective listening will help your child(ren) to frame their own feelings

Complete the attached worksheet.

 

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