Parenting Children - September 9, 2012

Day 26 - Helping Children Make Good Choices Part II

4. Be one step ahead

• use distraction, distract your child from the issue causing conflict
• develop your own tarntlu rules to avoid regular arguments

5. Give choices

• being given choices is an important part of a child’s learning to take responsibility
• give choices over issues that are unimportant,
• Which of your toys do you want to take?" and “Do you want to play on the beach or go swimming?"
• giving choices helps to defuse conflict

6. Stay in control

• avoid being dragged into shouting matches our emotional reactions can give children a sense of power over us - like allowing them to press a "big red button" on our chests to see us react. getting angry, chasing them, getting upset
• find a way to give realistic warnings
• don't be manipulated by your child(ren)'s shouting, whining, or tantrums

Question:
How can you stay in control of yourself when faced with bad behaviour?

Related Topics: Boundaries, Children, Family, Values | More Messages from Parenting Children | Download Audio

From Series: "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

Study Guide

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1. Recognize it’s a long process

  • typically it takes at least eighteen years!
  • help them to realize that talking through an issue that has upset them is more productive than behaving badly

2, Try to find the root cause of the anger

  • listen to your child
  • HALT – are they Hungry, Anxious, Lonely or Tired?
  • may not be easy to work out root cause – they may not know
  • if we don’t find the root cause, they can become angrier or suppress their emotions, leading to rebellion later
  • create environment of openness and honesty to encourage communication

Complete the attached worksheet.

 

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